Fanfic Review - Damaged by Aquariuslover

I read "Damaged" and I really wanted to share my thoughts about it. I'm a Yunjae Shipper, one of the crazy ones and not ashamed. I read Yunjae fanfics almost everyday, and I swear to God I blame author's like aquariuslover, I blame them for not having yet finished the book series "A Song of Ice and Fire" that are on the corner of my room waiting for me.


Rating: R
Pairing: Yunjae
Genre: Friendship, Romance, Future AU, Angst
Chapters: 49
Summary: "On a cold winter’s day he cast their love away for the sake of his family. The following autumn an act of vengeance left their love beyond the reaches of forgiveness. Two summers later a fan’s anger and the ultimate act of self-sacrifice would redefine everything they knew about love, pride, selfishness, and forgiveness."

          I started to read this fanfiction December 27 (11pm) and I finished December 30 (6am), it took me 67 hours only to read all 49 chapters, but that’s how addictive it is.
          Technically is really well written, but maybe because I read it really fast, and even spent all night reading, sometimes I felt like it was dragging, I was bored and I wanted to end, but I couldn’t stop reading and then I stopped for a while, drank a glass of water and it was thrilling again.
          What I missed a little was the dirty details, the sex was a huge part of Jaejoong’s character, it was what he used as a weapon and as a shield too, he thought the only power he had over Yunho was sex. Jaejoong thought without sex he didn’t have Yunho’s heart, so I missed the smut details, at the end it was a little better, but it still lacked.
          DamagedJaejoong reminds of Catherine and Heathcliff of “Wuthering Heights”, the love is the only beautiful thing about them, the only thing that redime them of all their sins. They were too greedy, too angry, too obsessed with revenge, their love was so dysfunctional, that sometimes they seem to hate each other for it. DamagedJaejoong is like this too, he would do everything to have Yunho with him, to the point it gets a little scary sometimes. He cheated, betrayed his best friends, proclaimed his hatred towards a dying man, threatened nurses, and there was a point when he implied that not even God would be capable of keep him away from Yunho. His life was lived for Yunho and Yunho only; he would give up everything and do anything Yunho asked him, to never be abandoned again.
          The problem with Jaejoong’s character is that we didn’t know him before, we know Yunho broke his heart when he followed his father’s wish, but how it was before is not very clear, we know he was jealous and sometimes clingy, but he had dreams and hopes that wasn’t attached to Yunho, because he thought Yunho loved him and then Yunho left him. And even though quariuslover mend DamagedJaejoong in the end, I would still put him in therapy because let’s face it he was a psychotic. Lee So Man said Yunho was the good one and Jaejoong the strong one, the one who would do whatever it takes. It really makes you think, would Jaejoong really shoot Yunho if he knew that would make Yunho be his again? If you think about it, he would, he would hurt Yunho. He did it in another way and he would do this way too, but that only before he really felt what would be to live in a world without Yunho, before the dream, Jaejoong would have shot Yunho, if that meant Yunho would be with him in the end.
          Yunho on the other hand, was too good for his own sake, he wouldn’t step over others, he had to face his father for Jaejoong, but he wouldn’t betray any of his friends or family, he wouldn’t hurt others purposely to be with Jaejoong. But he was the one that made Jaejoong like this, he was so good with everbody, he hurt the person that loved him the most.
          Still I believe a person is responsible for their own actions and what Yunho did with Jaejoong doesn’t justify all the things Jaejoong did. In the end Yunho is the one who mended things, because he was the one who started, and in the end both would live with the fact that Jaejoong was the one who helped to destroy C-JeS and JYJ. I sincerely think Yoochun and Junsu know this, but they are also happy with DBSK reunited so they act blind to not separate them again.
          Changmin is a character that really looks like the YunJae child, he has the sharpness of Jaejoong and isn’t good with the ones who aren’t good to him or to the ones he love, he hurt others purposely if he’s hurt too, but still he didn’t step over innocent others to get the things he want. Right at the beginning we face Changmin’s rage towards Jaejoong, but there is also something in him that wouldn’t deny Yunho loved Jaejoong and that this love was everything and he wouldn’t be in the way of their love.
          Junsu and Yoochun weren’t all that great persons, they feed on Jaejoong’s hate, they benefit from him once, but they saw what have they done and regretted, but they had to lose everything first.
          Heechul and Yunho’s catheter are the comic relief in the fic, and I’m really grateful for them, or I would have drowned on a pool of tears.
          And we forget the meaning behind Ryeowook and Kyuhyun characters; they are the example of what Yunho and Jaejoong could have been, with the easy couple dramas and balanced love. Maybe that was how Yunho and Jaejoong were before Yunho broke Jaejoong’s heart. And they are also the ones who would have their lives more easy because Yunho and Jaejoong came out of the closet.
          About Lee So Man, the fact aquariuslover could make me feel sympathy for the man is impressive, I really blame SMent for everything that happened to DBSK in reality, so I started the fic sure I would hate the man. But in the end somehow I feel like Yunho’s kindness and YunJae’s love touched the evil man’s heart, he admired Yunho and he also admired Jaejoong. In the end he protected both by giving everything to Yunho, he know it would be easier to Yunho to be with Jaejoong if he was a powerful man, and he knew Jaejoong would protect him no matter what, he would know how to be cautions and not to trust everyone and he knew that this way he's most amazing creation, DBSK would be together again. He was an evil genius!
          Maggie was also touched by their love, she was freed when she helped with the house, the house was her torment, she lived happy moments in that place at the expense of the happiness of others and then she spent a lifetime paying for it, when Jaejoong bought the house she finally broke free .
          Chapter 48 I swear to God it was hell, for a moment I thought I was in a big conspiracy to read a tragic fanfic without knowing it, but Jaejoong and Yunho needed that, Jaejoong especially had to know how much by hurting Yunho would hurt himself, how much Yunho’s dead would hurt everyone, and how much Yunho loved him, to the point awoke from certain death because of the fear Jaejoong would take his own life.
          Yunho’s father was the true villain on the story, he was greedy, and had too much proud, his homophobic roots and fear of the public reaction made him demand his son give up the love of his life, in a bigger picture you can see how much family support is important, homosexuals from all around the world kill themselves or suffer their whole life because the family can’t be supportive. And this is so unfair, all they needed was love. Jaejoong and Yunho would never had hurt themselves and hurt others if they were allowed to love freely. In the end when their friends was on the stage or in standing ovation to supporting them, while Yunho proclaim his love and gratitude for Jaejoong, and Jaejoong finally lost all of his insecurities, that was perfect and that was right, they knew it would be hell with the public opinion, but  they had those people who loved them no matter what and so it was okay.

Favorite quotes:

"The moment you take your last breath I am already dead."
"It’s just how I am. I breathe, I have great hair, and I want you."
I think you can love somebody too much…that the Gods become jealous (This one is too close for comfort, my parents had the greatest love of all, my mother also spend years with my father from hospital to hospital, from one doctor to another, and she never once left him, their love was something I never saw, not even in books, but at the end mom couldn’t save him. It was beyond our hands, sometimes I think they loved each other too much and the Gods were jealous.)
I am thinking about getting a tattoo that says, ‘Yunho loves me best'."  (Jae should really have this tattoo!)
“For something that showed me no interest for months it sure does like me now.”
“That’s easy for you to say. You are not about to hand the love of your life over to the devil.”
"If you’re going to be like this lets go announce it to the world right now. We can wear matching rainbow suits." (In my wildest fangirl dreams I ride the unicorn right behind them in support! LOL)
“But most importantly, I must apologize to Jae, one of my oldest and dearest. I have known you for many years, but I haven’t always understood you. I know I have made things extremely difficult for you at times, and pushed you pass your limits. I haven’t always appreciated you as much as I should have. I have put my own pride and others before you, and that is a mark on my soul that will not wash away easily. Jae, I can’t tell you how…sorry I am.” (And at this moment I swear we all run up to that stage and kissed Yunho together!)
“It’s about to get good, brothers” (Oh mighty president!!!)

I absolutely recommend “Damaged”, is not my favorite, but it is thrilling, romantic, well written, has an awesome plot, and every character is developed really well.

Aquariuslover has a song on the end of every chapter, but I have my own playlist to read and there was two songs that really made me cry a river reading "Damaged"!

But the song everyone who read "Damaged" will always remember looking at Yunho is "Holding Out For a Hero" by Bonnie Tyler. 

If you want to read “Damaged” by aquariuslover you can find it on her Livejournal HERE.

This is just an opinion about the whole story and I really would love it if you share your thoughts about "Damaged" on the comments too, I read the story so fast and I might not have noticed and appreciated a few important details. =D

Bear Hug
Dryka B.

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Dryelli, 24 anos, Maringá, PR